South Yorkshire derbies, Poku man, and Rob Edwards at the sad Hatters' tea party
11 November 2024 | Weekend Notes brings you the biggest stories, stats and insights from the EFL weekend
● BIG STORIES ● CHEAT SHEET ● 5IVELIGHTS ● THE VIEW FROM ● FANTASY FOOTBALL ● WATCHING BRIEF ●
“Yorkshire”… (religious tribal chant)
At work recently, someone said to me: “I would never have guessed you were from Yorkshire”. My response should have been as follows:
Look, mate, I spent many a morning at Barnsley Market where the sellers sold “Strawberries, Raspberries and Cherry Berries”. I worked in Rotherham. I’ve flown from Donny airport. I’ve lived in Leeds. I’ve been to a funeral in Grimsby, where – I shit you not – the butcher, baker and fishmonger stood outside their shops, caps held against their chest as the cortège passed by. Not only am I more Yorkshire than Killing Your Brother’s Kestrel, but the chuffin’ film was shot in my nan’s village. So, either you’ve got a tin ear or I’ve been in London too long….
Of course, I just said, “Well, I am, actually”. Anyhow, let’s start with a parish update for Yorkshire, for no other reason than I want to score some points, and there were some cracking White Rose games on offer…
🚨 Big Stories
A selection of decisive moments from across the EFL.
🐶 A breathless YOOOOORKSHIRE update — Sheffield United beat Wednesday 1-0 in a derby tighter than a groom with confetti on elastic; Blades have won more points than any other side in the Championship, and yet they’re 2nd. Barnsley, whose home record in the league had included such hits as One Win Since February and One Clean Sheet In 11 Months, doubled both tallies by beating Rotherham 2-0, with a slick performance that manager Darrell Clarke called a “stepping stone”. Bradford lost 1-0 to Fleetwood. Doncaster drew 1-1 with Notts County in a game that could’ve swung either way. Harrogate fought back after conceding and deserved their late equaliser, then their heads hit the pavement as Harvey ‘Tar’ Macadam struck in the 96th minute to give Morecambe a late, great away-day win. Finally, Leeds were doing Leeds things, beating QPR 2-0 to put the R’s bottom. And all of that brings us onto Middlesbrough. Yes, it’s in Yorkshire. Everything’s in Yorkshire. EVERYTHING.
😔 The Sad Hatter — Middlesbrough 5-1 Luton — With apologies to a brilliant Boro, who won twice in a week and scored nine goals (and from just 3.5 xG in total – very un-Boro), the Big Story is Luton. They went into half-time 2-0 down thanks to sleepy set-piece defending and a well-taken Emmanuel Latte Lath goal, but no recovery was forthcoming, and after a painful second half, Rob Edwards gave an equally hard-to-watch interview in which he sounded as his team had been: utterly defeated. In his words: “The most important thing right now is the club… I’ve had two amazing years here, but the last thing I want is to be a divisive figure”. Whether or not Luton were ever ‘back’, Edwards was backed, but even he seems sadly resigned to resignation.
😃 The Glad Hatter — Stockport 5-0 Bolton — Ian Evatt had eased the pressure on himself only for this to happen just in time for the international break, that most dreaded of intervals for an under-fire manager. No such worries for Dave Challinor. Through substitutions, persuasion and thinly veiled threats, no manager instils bouncebackability in his players quite like the Stockport gaffer, and having been thumped 5-0 by Wycombe on Tuesday, they righted the wrong here by beating a promotion rival by the same scoreline – with five different scorers, to boot. Will Collar got the first, having received flak in the week for beaming as he received a player of the match award in the humiliating home loss to Wycombe; his three-part response, first on Twitter, then with a goal, then with this celebration, was perfect.
♝ Pompey win through Bishop’s Gambit — Portsmouth 3-1 Preston — Some story at Fratton Park: Colby Bishop, promotion hero, unexpectedly returned to match action following heart surgery in August, thanks to the EFL granting Pompey special dispensation to add him to their squad list. Their first home win of the season was an appropriately big result, founded on arguably their best performance so far: Pompey dominated the first period, took the lead, then had to dig deep when Preston made three half-time substitutions and drew level shortly afterwards. John Mousinho’s side deserved their win, but nobody deserved the grand day out quite so much as Bishop his 89th-minute penalty made the points safe and took Pompey off the bottom.
❌ The managerless derby — Burton 2-0 Shrewsbury — Last year, “Cheltenham finally scored a goal” was one of the big narratives of the early season. Now here we are: Burton Albion have won a league fixture at the 14th attempt. The Brewers’ hard-fought, richly-deserved victory was all the hoppier given that it guaranteed they’d leapfrog their nearest rivals in the bottom two: Shrewsbury, who’ve won just one of their last 12 league away games (D4 L7), failing to score in six. Ouch.
🏏 370 all out — Norwich 0-2 Bristol City — Norwich marked a year unbeaten at home by losing on Day 370. Bristol City continue to impress, particularly the former Derby duo of Jason Knight and Max Bird, although this was a good time to face Norwich, lacking the suspended Kenny McLean as well as Josh Sargent (out until January), Angus Gunn, Marcelino Nunez and several more besides. Johannes Hoff Thorup will welcome the week off for recovery and recalibration, because the Canaries’ six-game form book has taken them from four points off the automatics to three points above the relegation zone.
🚍 How do you get 6 goals on a bus? — Peterborough 6-1 Cambridge — You Poku‘m ‘on. Kwame Poku is in a fittingly rich streak of form for his Posh side: a hat-trick and an assist against Cambridge took him to 15 goal involvements for the season. No player in League One has scored more goals. No player in League One has assisted more. This hiding was the second consecutive derby Peterborough have won by 5+ goals.
🛄 Away, in some danger – Curiously, six of League Two’s bottom seven were away from home – and three of them won. Accrington were pick of the bunch, beating Chesterfield 3-0 (just seven shots but four big chances while Billy Crellin stood tall at the other end); meanwhile, Morecambe’s late goal made it 2-1 against Harrogate and Carlisle stunned Salford 1-0, despite waiting until the 70th minute to have a shot. Colchester and 10-man Bromley also grabbed draws, away to Barrow and Cheltenham, so only Swindon fell to defeat on the road and with no real shame in their performance, either: Harry Smith scored the club’s fastest-ever goal before MK Dons came back to win 3-1.
📊 Monday Morning Cheat Sheet
From the WhatsApp group to the watercooler: stats to keep you ahead of the game.
💯 Weimann’s century — Blackburn’s Andi Weimann scored his 100th goal in all competitions in English football on Saturday. He brought it up with a brace against Cardiff, 5030 days after hitting his first for Watford in this vintage Championship XI.
🥪 Sandwich above the batch — We’re coming up to Championship seeded batch territory, but Millwall’s form is breaded differently: DWWWWD. Lions are roaring.
🫵 Making a point — Grimsby made it into the League Two play-offs over the weekend with their eighth win of the season. They’ve played fifteen. They’ve lost seven. They haven’t drawn a single game all season, and are the only club in all four leagues not to do so.
🦪 A lotta Posh nosh — After their 6-1 win, Peterborough are the only team in the top four tiers of English football to have more than 50 goals scored in their games this season. That’s who the neutrals want to watch.
🥅 QPR’nt scoring away — This weekend’s defeat to Leeds makes it four away Championship matches without a goal for Martí Cifuentes’ side; they last endured such a run in 2010.
⏩ Not so blunt rotation — Harry Smith’s strike 15 seconds into Swindon’s defeat to MK Dons was the joint-earliest goal in the top four tiers of English football (tied with Paul Mullin), the fastest in League Two this campaign, and Swindon’s fastest ever.
🌓 First Half Heroes — Chris Wilder hasn’t had to get the hairdryer out this season, Sheffield United are the only EFL team never to trail at half time.
🛖 Jatta the hut — He can hit a hut door. Alassana Jatta has scored seven goals in his last ten for Notts County, hitting a delicious streak of form after a January move where he scored 5 in his first 11.
🧭 Go West — West Brom have now set a record for the fewest goals scored in the opening 7 home games in any English League. They’ve scored 2 — two!
🕰️ Cham Man… or not — Following recent managerial departures, fewer than half of Championship managers have been in charge of their clubs for more than a year, only four for over two years, and none for more than two years and two months.
🎦 5ivelights
In no particular order, a collection of our favourite goals or clips from across the 72.
Bish, bash, bosh — Colby Bishop is back.
Insert another ‘when Isador not a door?’ joke. Or show the wondrous thing.
Overhead, poetry in motion by Yates. Jerry, not W.B.
Gotta catch ’em all: Poku on one, with three in the derby.
An assist so damned good that George has written a column about it…
The View From…
I could talk about Grimsby’s five away wins in a row.
I could talk about their impressive defensive shape and appetite.
I could talk about the teenage Wimbledon fan who completely lost his head, offering out the whole of the Grimsby away end and making gestures at a pace I’ve never seen before.
Instead, I’d like to talk about one of the weirdest assists I’ve ever seen — in terms of both its improbability and its quality — from Kieran ‘Zinedine’ Green.
Now, I haven't watched this back, so this is a genuine “View From”. I don't really want to watch it back. I don't want to find out that it wasn't as good as it looked.
It came off the back of a really poor stretch of play. The game, up to this point, had been defined by its lack of action: Grimsby dealing well with the physical threat of Matty Stevens and Omar Bugiel, and Dons stifling Town’s counter-attacking threat.
Kieran Green is the protagonist here. He is not someone who Grimsby Town fans would have anticipated they'd be making memes of, but here we are.
The unlikely hero; a man who can barely run, but runs as hard as he can. He looks as though he’s just dribbling out of play on the left-hand side, with absolutely nothing on whatsoever. Yet he somehow manages to contort his right foot into this ridiculous outside-of-the-boot cross, from deep on the left-hand side.
It's so audacious as to almost seem stupid. I don't understand how he thought it could possibly be a way to goal. But as the ball flew towards the Wimbledon penalty box, it suddenly became apparent that – perhaps because there was seemingly no danger – the Dons defensive duo had been caught napping. Danny Rose managed to capitalise on that, squeezing between the two of them and forcing the ball into the corner.
I’ve never seen a goal scored so quickly from such an unthreatening moment of possession. Kieran Green, my Lord. What an assist.
After seeing out their win magnificently, the Grimsby players came and celebrated in front of the Town fans. In leaving the ground with all of the Grimsby fans chanting, “Five in a row”, you sensed that David Artell might be building something a bit special. It was great to be a part of it.
George may not want to watch Green’s cross back, but you certainly should – ALTERNATE ANGLE, BABY!
🏆 Fantasy Football
Go head-to-head against team NTT20 in our EFL Fantasy Football league
We called it last week: mid-table mediocrity was on the cards. And we’ve duly climbed into it like a warm bed on a cold night. Some 81 points from Sam this week – more than 10% of our total for the season – came via a solid 3atb formation, despite only two defenders getting on the pitch.
Top marks to Minus 24, who clocked up a huge 145 points, and that leaves the leader: Mr Browne’s Boys are flying.
📺 Watching Brief
Upcoming live EFL games
Saturday 16 November 2024
12:30 Exeter vs Lincoln
All other EFL games on also live on Sky Sports+
Grimsby isn’t in Yorkshire UTM
Love this read in a Monday morning. Nice one.