Job loss, home losses and a hattrick of hattricks: the Championship is mad | Plus FA Cup action for L1 and L2 teams 🏆
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Championship
Sam Parry
Look, I don’t want to get all “anarchic refusal to acknowledge rhythmic obligation” about it, but the Championship has gone pure free jazz.
It began on Friday with Wrexham v Coventry, where Frank Lampard’s side came in with real, aggressive tempo: 3–0, 4–0, 5–0, 2–0, 2–1, 3–1. And whilst Sky Blues were less convincing in this one, they still fashioned 10 shots inside the box and scored twice. But the beat of the big win — the perfect hattrick and the hattrick of assists — was a tick-tick-boom of Windass → Moore, Windass → Moore, Windass → Moore (60’, 69’, 83’). It finished 3–2.
Man alive! Setting up in a 3-5-1-1, Phil Parkinson couldn’t have dreamt up a better night for his attackers: the No.10 setting up the No.9 three times. It was deserved, too. They looked in a spot of bother a couple of weeks ago, but two wins and a draw later, Wrexham are top half. And, fun fact, in over four years under Parky they’ve only lost back-to-back games twice. As for Cov, nothing dramatic, just a wee setback.
Speaking of setbacks: West Brom 0–0 Sheffield Wednesday. Less a setback for either side, more a stumble for my “free jazz” narrative. Look, this was a game that happened. Wednesday’s emergency-loan keeper Ethan Horvath was the hero, and the home fans were groaning on the final whistle. That home moaning was a key beat in early kick-offs.
Because it was similar at the King Power, where Leicester had chances but faltered against Blackburn, a side who began the weekend 21st. Mavididi had one ruled out and spurned a few more chances for Foxes. Andri Guðjohnsen struck twice — the first slightly fortunate via a deflection, the second a clean finish from a simple cut-back. Foxes looked fragile at the back in this 2-0 defeat. Moans and groans again.
And again. Spare a thought for Norwich, who lost a seventh straight home game in all competitions. If the Canaries were a bit of a bin fire heading into this, Hull were on fire. Yet it was Liam Manning’s side who dominated the first half, generating 2.23 xG but somehow scoring none, thanks to a mix of good goalkeeping and bad finishing. Hull then executed their counter-attacking plan perfectly. Joe Gelhardt’s opener came from an uncontested header off a Norwich goal kick and a brilliant solo run, before a second breakaway goal killed the game. Really bleak for Manning’s side now.
To the 3pms, in descending order of goals. Stoke smashed Bristol City 5–1, in their most complete attacking display of the season. High quality delivery into the box for the first, a horrible goalkeeping fumble for the second, wonderful left-footed finishing from Million Manhoef for the third, great jinking run and finish for the fourth and another fine finish from Man City loanee Divin Mubama for the fifth.
Oh, within those, Mubama bagged #1, #2 and #5 for our second hattrick of the day. It was a bizarre display from Bristol City who not only couldn’t handle Stoke’s counter-press but just continually persisted with the Plan A, which led to Plan L and their third such L of the season.
Ipswich, winless away before this weekend, finally broke that streak with a 4–1 win at QPR. George Hirst opened the scoring before Beep-Beep Burrell equalised, but Marcelino Núñez stole the show with two free kicks from near-identical positions, each bent beautifully into opposite sides of the goal. The scoreline flattered the Tractor Boys slightly, but QPR offered little after the break.
Birmingham were dominant in a 4–0 win over Portsmouth, starting fast, missing a penalty, then taking total control. Seung-Ho Paik’s diving header, the opener, was my pick of the bunch. Quietly, Blues are ticking along, metronomic and assured.
There was a crescendo to both halves at the Kassam as Oxford equalised on 45 and 90 minutes to draw 2–2 with Millwall. Cameron Brannagan’s first leveller was another screamer, and Przemysław Płacheta’s late strike from the edge of the box sealed a point in a game where the Lions had made most of the running. A great result for the Yellows, frustration for Alex Neil.
Watford took their chances on the counter and were deserved 3–0 winners over Middlesbrough. The scoreline reflected clinical edge rather than dominance. What must sting for their fans — many of whom wanted Edo Kayembe and Moussa Sissoko dropped — is that they won, and won well, with both left out of the XI long after time. As for Boro, that’s only their second loss of the season, but also their second in 5 games.
Derby beat Sheffield United 3–1 thanks to a Carlton Morris hattrick that could double as a Blades blooper reel. First, zonal marking left Morris free to beat Sydie Peck to a header; then Peck’s poor back-pass set him up 1v1 straight after the restart; finally, Alex Matos grabbed the ball in the box for a foul-not-given, and Morris buried the penalty. With errors piling up, anyone catastrophising about Chris Wilder’s side don’t look that wide of the mark.
Southampton are searching for their first win since September. Will Still, meanwhile, is searching for his next job. Is it a harsh sacking? Some recent displays might’ve merited more by way of points, but not this one. Preston deserved their 2–0 away victory, and while single-game xG is never gospel, Saints’ 0.19 from open play at home to Preston’s 2.09 tells its own story. Over a slightly longer window, a record of W4 D6 L6 for Will Still as Saint’s boss simply isn’t going to cut it.
Sorry, Charlton 1–1 Swansea — you were the match that missed out. But you can’t blame me this weekend. And that, Free Jazzers, is curtain call.
FA Cup
Huw Davies
The theme of this year’s First Round Proper was minor upsets; the fourth tier triumphing over the third, rather than semi-pro fairy tales. No fewer than five League One clubs lost to League Two outfits. But two more, plus another unhappy couple in League Two, lost to National League upstarts and that’s where we must begin.
Gateshead won 2-0 away at Wimbledon, some 57 places above them in the pyramid. Their first goal came just seconds after Wimbledon were in the Heed box, owing to brilliant counter-attacking play by Kain Adom and Frank Nouble.
The other two-division upset brought perhaps the greatest substitute appearance of all time, in any competition. Regan Linney, 28 and formerly of Bamber Bridge, FC United of Manchester, Altrincham and a conviction for drug dealing, helped his chances of a late-career move to the EFL with a hat-trick to turn Carlisle’s 2-0 deficit to Reading into a 3-2 win, scored – consecutively and confusingly – in the 93rd, 98th and 94th minutes (stoppage time, then extra time). Leam Richardson fielded a strong team for his first Reading fixture, and could’ve done without Jack Stevens letting a soft equaliser through his grasp when the full-time whistle was practically to the referee’s lips.
In a hat-trick-heavy weekend, Michael Mellon struck thrice in Oldham’s 3-1 win over Northampton. His two goals in the opening four minutes included a bicycle kick that showed his quality, although for that goal and Mellon’s third, Cobblers keeper Ross Fitzsimons did resemble a man wondering if he’d left the oven on at home. Northampton boss Kevin Nolan gave it the old, “Maybe some of us think we’re better than we are” afterwards. Still, misery loves company and other League One sides were busy suffering upsets as well: Lincoln on penalties to Salford after a lively 1-1 draw, Stevenage 1-0 at home to Chesterfield with Dilan Markanday looking superb, and Rotherham in extra time against Swindon, continuing the Millers’ miserable FA Cup record (head to Stats Pack for the gory details).
Most intriguing among those was Bradford’s 1-0 defeat to Cheltenham. Now, the high-flying Bantams did have 88 minutes in which to equalise and were unable to squeeze any of their eight shots on target past the ageless Joe Day, but you can understand why Graham Alexander was sent off at full-time. Isaac Hutchinson’s comically easy goal in the second minute seemingly followed a referee-like whistle in the crowd, which would explain several players’ reactions before the ball had even reached him.
Back to those National League winners. Boreham Wood beat Crawley 3-0, though as good as the Wood were, Crawley delivered a defensive disasterclass. Josh Flint was all at sea for one goal, Charlie Barker gave away a daft penalty for another, and Ryan Loft was sent off for an off-the-ball, off-the-boil incident (though instigator Jeff King should hang his head in shame, if he has any). Abdul Abdulmalik netted a gentleman’s third.
Later, Brackley beat Notts County on penalties and deserved to win it earlier: Gavin Cowan’s men had a goal wrongly disallowed, hit the crossbar twice with one shot, and had more shots in or just outside the six-yard box (8) than Notts did in total (7). They eventually made it 2-2 with a stoppage-time penalty, then scored another four of them to County’s three.
Finally, we turn to the Thank-F*ck-For-That-Brigade. Barnsley required stoppage time to beat York 3-2, as did Doncaster to defeat Crewe 2-1. Luton led Robbie Savage’s Forest Green Rovers 3-0, only for Robbie Savage’s Forest Green Rovers to bring it back to 3-3, yet the Hatters scored a fourth goal with their ninth shot of the game and Robbie Savage’s Forest Green Rovers missed a great chance at the end.
And while Burton Albion were seeing off St Albans City 6-0, not even allowing a break in serve, Wigan were struggling against their own part-time opponents. Hemel Hempstead drew 1-1 away to the side three divisions above them but bowed out on penalties, after Wigan’s Matt Smith was sent off within five minutes of coming on, Paul Mullin became the first footballer to send a penalty into another dimension, and Will Aimson’s sensational goal-line block prevented a stoppage-time winner, prompting many Hemel heads in many Hemel hands. Hang it in the Louvre, if you’re feeling cruel.
🎦 Our Top 5 clips from the EFL weekend
Tchamadeu? More like Tchama-did! A fantastic solo effort from Junior.
Marcelino. Núñez. An alternative angle of the Chilean’s first free-kick goal of the afternoon.
Access Denied. Another exceptional save from Daniel Iversen.
The widest of wide free-kicks. Just Ollie Norwood doing Ollie Norwood things.
Head over heels. The pick of Michael Mellon’s first round hattrick.
📊 Your Monday morning cheat sheet
⚽ Championship Hattrick Heroes - For the first time since September 2012, three players (Kieffer Moore, Divin Mubama and Carlton Morris) scored a hattrick in the same round of Championship fixtures. Glenn Murray (Crystal Palace), Craig Davies (Birmingham) and David Nugent (Leicester) were the last trio to achieve such a feat.
🐯 Mauled By The Tigers - Hull City’s run of six games without defeat is the longest current unbeaten run in the Championship.
🐝 Hornets Home & Away - Watford have the biggest home v away points disparity in the Championship, averaging 2.29 ppg at home and 0.33 ppg away — a difference of 1.96.
🔥 Hot Streak - Watford’s Imran Louza has scored in three consecutive league games for the first time in his career.
🎶 Harmonious Wrexham - Wrexham boast two pleasingly symmetrical columns: GF 19, GA 19. Look closer, and it gets better, their first-half aggregate scores are running 7–7, and their second halves 12–12.
❌ LLLLLL - Norwich City are the first second tier team to start a season with six consecutive defeats at home since Watford in 1990.
And finally, we rank the EFL’s worst FA Cup teams – anyone we’ve missed…?
🥉 Northampton Town - The Cobblers haven’t won an FA Cup fixture since the first strains of COVID-19 hit the UK: they reached the Fourth Round under Keith Curle in 2019/20 and have lost each of their six First Round ties following that run.
🥈 AFC Wimbledon - Since (re)joining the Football League in 2011, AFC Wimbledon have lost to non-league opposition on six occasions. It’s happened four times just in the last five seasons.
🥇 Rotherham United - The Millers last beat a fellow EFL side in the FA Cup back in November 2013. In the 12 years hence, Rotherham have crashed out at the first time of asking on 10 occasions, five of those to a team in a lower division.
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